Dr. Joseph Shrand, an instructor at Harvard Medical School and author of “Outsmarting Anger: 7 Steps for Defusing our Most Dangerous Emotion,” suggests that people yell primarily as a response to anger. He emphasizes that feeling anger is a normal human emotion, but what truly matters is how we manage and express that anger.
However, not all efforts to modify behavior are equally effective, and recognizing the counterproductive nature of yelling can motivate parents to seek better alternatives.
Now, let’s delve into the reasons why yelling at our children can be detrimental and explore what we can do differently:
So, what can we do instead of yelling to manage our anger and foster healthier communication with our children?
First, acknowledge your anger and seeking professional help if necessary. Identifying triggers and patterns is crucial, especially if you come from an environment where yelling was prevalent or if you’ve experienced emotional or physical abuse.
Next, employ techniques to calm yourself in the heat of the moment. These include deep breathing, counting backward, physical activity like, and positive self-talk. Once you’ve regained your composure, address the situation calmly and mindfully. Dr. Markham suggests phrases like “Let’s try a do-over” to reset the interaction.
Breaking the habit of yelling takes time and practice, but it’s easier when you’ve built a strong connection with your child. That’s what we prioritize at A Dad’s Path!
Want to take the next step to being a better dad? Sign up for our 30 day No-Anger Challenge and get equipped with resources and strategies to become a more patient parent.